Und bei diesem Feuerwerk von Gags fällt die Auswahl der besten Zitate echt schwer ..

Lola Johnson: This isn't really going to be your last show, is it?
Garrison Keillor: Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.
Rhonda Johnson: Thank you, Plato.

Yolanda Johnson: How about just a moment of silence?
Garrison Keillor: Silence on the radio... I don't know how that works.

Garrison Keillor: We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.

Lefty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.

Al, Stage Manager: About that obscene song you sang last week...
Dusty: "I'll give you my moonshine if you show me your jugs?"

Dusty: [singing] I used to work in Chicago, at a convenience store. / I used to work in Chicago. I did but I don't anymore. / A lady walked in with some porcelain skin and I asked her what she came in for. / "Liquor," she said, and lick her I did, and I don't work there anymore.

Garrison Keillor: The penguin joke? Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin says, you look like you're wearing a tuxedo. The second penguin says, what makes you think I'm not?
Dangerous Woman: Why is that funny?
Garrison Keillor: I guess because people laugh at it.
Dangerous Woman: I'm not laughing.
Garrison Keillor: Well, you're an angel.

Lola Johnson: What if you die some day?
Garrison Keillor: I will die.
Lola Johnson: Don't you want people to remember you?
Garrison Keillor: I don't want them to be told to remember me.

Dusty: Hey, uh... hey, Lefty. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
Lefty: What'd he say?
Dusty: It's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?

Guy Noir: The show had been on the air since Jesus was in the 3rd grade.

Molly: [to Garrison] The show's running 6 minutes short, Lola is going to sing a song, and your barn doors are open.

Guy Noir: And her hair! It was what God had in mind when he said "Let there be...”
Al, Stage Manager: Hair, right?

Yolanda Johnson: Isn't that a Carter Family song?
Lola Johnson: Who?
Yolanda Johnson: The Carter Family. Like us, only famous.

Jearlyn Steele: [singing] Why do you work so hard to get what you don't even want?

Guy Noir: She had a Mount Rushmore t-shirt on, and those guys never looked so good. Especially Jefferson and Lincoln. Kind of bloated but happy.

Dangerous Woman: The death of an old man is not a tragedy. Forgive him his shortcomings, and thank him for all his love and care.

Dusty: [singing] When God created woman / He gave her not two breasts but three. / When the middle one got in the way, / God performed surgery. / Woman stood before God / With the middle breast in hand / Said,"What do we do with the useless boob?" / And God created man.