Sid Waterman: I love you, really. With all due respect, you're a beautiful person. You're a credit to your race.

Sid Waterman: I was born of the Hebrew persuasion, but I converted to narcissism.

Sid Waterman: I don't need to work out. My anxiety acts as aerobics.

Sondra Pransky: Oh, you always see the glass half empty.
Sid Waterman: No, I always see the glass half full. Of poison!

Sid Waterman: The man is a liar and a murderer, and I say that with all due respect.

Sondra Pransky: This guy is a serial killer! He could just kill at any moment!
Sid Waterman: Yeah, I heard that part. That's when I knew I was gonna make other plans.

Joe Strombel: This'll be the biggest story to hit London since Jack the Ripper.
Sondra Pransky: Jack the Ripper. Is that capitalized?

Borat: My country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute.

Borat: This is Natalya.
[He kisses her passionately]
Borat: She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan.
[She holds up a trophy and smiles]
Borat: Niiice!

Borat: This my mother. She is oldest woman in ALL of Kuzek! She is 42!Uhh... this my wife, Oxanna... she is boring.
Oxanna: What? What? What did you tell them about me you skinny piece of shit? Why don't you do something useful and dig your mama a grave! You tall piece of shit!

Borat: This is Orkin, the town rapist! Naughty, naughty!

Borat: I arrived in America's airport with clothings, U.S dollars and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS.

Borat: May George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq!

Borat: [Narrating] We decided to not take airplane should the Jews repeat their attack of 9/11.

Azamat: [subtitled] We should go back to New York. At least there are no Jews there.

Borat Sagdiyev: What kind of car can I buy that attract woman with shaved vazhïn?
Car Dealership owner: That would be a Corvette. Or a Hummer.

Borat Sagdiyev: I will look on your treasures, gypsy. Is this understood?

Borat: Gypsy, who is this woman you have shrunk?

Azamat: [points to two cockroaches] The Jews have shifted their shapes!

Borat: Do Jesus love my neighbor, Nusultan Tulyakbay?
Pentecostal church pastor: Yes, Jesus loves your everyone.
Borat: Nobody like my neighbor Nusultan Tulyakbay.

Borat: We need somewhere to park our black asses for the night.

Linda Freeman: Have you ever had an orgasm, Alex?
Alex Hughes: It has been known.
Linda Freeman: It sounds like an inferior version of what I feel when I have a mouthful of snow.
[Shoves some into her mouth]

Hier ein paar der besten Zitate:

Nick Naylor: Michael Jordan plays ball. Charles Manson kills people. I talk.

Nick Naylor: Now what we need is a smoking role model. A real winner.
Jeff Megall: Indiana Jones meets Jerry Maguire.
Nick Naylor: Right, on two packs a day.

Heather Holloway: My other interviews have pinned you as a mass murderer, blood sucker, pimp, profiteer and my personal favorite, yuppie Mephistopheles.

Will Turner: What vexes all men?
Tia Dalma: What, indeed.
Gibbs: The sea...?
Pintel: Sums...?
Ragetti: The dichotomy of good and evil...?
Jack Sparrow: A woman!

Elizabeth Swann: It is real!
Norrington: My God, you actually *were* telling the truth.
Jack Sparrow: I do that quite a lot, yet people are always surprised.
Will Turner: With good reason.
Elizabeth Swann: Will! I came to find you.
Jack Sparrow: How did you get here?
Will Turner: Sea turtles mate, a pair of them strapped to my feet.
Jack Sparrow: Not so easy is it?

Laura Henderson: [at Mrs. Henderson's husband's funeral] I'm bored with widowhood.
Lady Conway: My dear, you've just scratched the surface.
Laura Henderson: I have to smile at everybody. I've never had to smile at everybody. In India, there were always people to look down on.
Lady Conway: People are merely being sympathetic. After all, you have lost your husband.
Laura Henderson: Well I didn't mislay him! It was most inconsiderate of Robert to die. What on earth am I supposed to do now?
Lady Conway: It's really not so bad. Widows are allowed hobbies.
Laura Henderson: Hobbies?
Lady Conway: Yes. Embroidery, things like that.
Laura Henderson: Are you mad?
Lady Conway: I've graduated to weaving. Would you care to see my tapestries?
Laura Henderson: I'd rather drink ink.
Lady Conway: Committees are good of course. I serve on quite a few charities. Once your husband dies, it's quite permissible to help the poor. And now, there's no one to stop you buying things. Also, of course, there's a great deal of time for lovers.
Laura Henderson: Margot, I'm nearly 70!
Lady Conway: That's true, but you're also very rich. The one cancels out the other.

Bertie: What do you make of her?
Vivian Van Damm: She's beautiful.
Bertie: Yes.
Vivian Van Damm: But the nipples...
Bertie: Too large?
Vivian Van Damm: They're not British. Could be Italian. We must have British nipples.

Lady Conway: Adolescents and women in their eighth decade are strikingly similar.

Lady Conway: You obviously require a battle plan. My second husband, the general, always advocated attacking from the rear, which, although it did nothing to enhance our marriage, did bring him some success on the field.

Lord Cromer: Now what about, forgive me, the foliage?
Laura Henderson: Foliage?
Lord Cromer: You know, beneath the...
Laura Henderson: Beneath what? Try the Brie.
Lord Cromer: Thank you. Beneath the...
Laura Henderson: I had it flown in from France.
Lord Cromer: Excellent. The foliage beneath the...
Laura Henderson: My husband was very fond of it.
Lord Cromer: Of what?
Laura Henderson: This particular cheese.
Lord Cromer: My dear, I'm attempting to address the disagreeable and somewhat sordid topic of the pudendum.
Laura Henderson: What on earth is that?
Lord Cromer: Good heavens, woman!
Laura Henderson: Do have some more wine.
Lord Cromer: The female part.
Laura Henderson: Oh, the pussy!
Lord Cromer: [Gasps]
Laura Henderson: Why didn't you say?
Lord Cromer: I had not expected you, of all people, to use such language.
Laura Henderson: That word was rather popular in the mid-nineteenth century. Not everyone speaks Latin, you know.
Lord Cromer: Then I'd prefer you refer to it as 'the midlands'.
Laura Henderson: Oh, dear you men do get into such a state about 'the midlands', don't you? Well you needn't worry. Our lighting will be so subtle; the disputed area will be barely visible.
[as Lord Cromer drinks his wine]
Laura Henderson: And anyway, we'll have a barber.
Lord Cromer: [spits out wine and Mrs Henderson laughs]